i do-not know why...!!

as i grow
i go slow
more than i breathe
i smoke a load
i try to live my life
but termites inside me..
constantly, eats my rotten ply

piles of garbage
i have stored
some have extinct now
some have gone bad
only a few i left with
is now covered with snow
fly ash, dust and marlboro

i now know how,
how to get things right
and when to bow
quite often when things come hard
and quite often it feels like i'm torn apart

and when u fell like deja vu around
u must have some cakes to cut
some scissors, knives and some nuts

to get what u want
u should have some time
some needs, good deeds and a lots of greed

in the mirage of golden opportunities
its never easy to spot a good one
when u know, u are not an ideal
when u know, u cant get things done

however, i think i still have some chance
being not the focused one
being not in demand
it gives me time, to get off the hook
being free, living for my own destiny
now, never and ever, i cared for my life's irony...!!